I’ve had quite a few conversations lately, Karen Burton hit the nail on the head with her word last week and all rolled together it simply comes down to two words ‘be real’. A friend was quite honest in a conversation on Monday about how irked she felt about my blessings! I loved her honesty but it really got me thinking about some other comments that have floated around me over time…you portray wealth? That was interesting considering I shop where most people shop and my favourite is Kmart! When we bought our house a friend made a comment on how we’d been sprinkled with fairy dust at all the blessings we received in that time! Just this week I bumped into someone from church on a mini break away, we made nice conversation and then they said ‘ I bet you’re staying in those posh apartments’! Gee I wish! But I realised today that I must do a pretty darn good job at pretending I’ve got it all together! But guess what I totally haven’t! I suffer from the most hideous pmt, which causes massive problems in our house around that time! I cry in my room because I feel like I’m not enough, I shout scream and don’t eat breakfast because I have to get the kids out before I do something crazy, I feel like I’m sinking most evenings between 5-7pm and I wonder why I don’t feel that bedtime love with my boys that’s so regularly portrayed on social media, I just want them in bed so I can breathe! We live in a very large overdraft from day to day, crisis managing is what the accountant calls it! I drink wine, I binge eat when no ones around, and I obsess about keeping the house tidy scared to be judged that I’m lazy! Stupid eh? I’m guilty too of looking at other people and judging their life from my lens which in fact shows that some of them too, also do a great job of pretending they’ve got it all together!
We are sisters, we are mothers, we are wives, we are women and we are all daughters of the highest King, he would not want us judging each other on the things we all pretty much do the same but different, he most definitely wouldn’t want us wishing we were someone else or wishing we had what someone else had because he created us uniquely set apart with gifts he designed specifically for us. We all arrive at church in our Sunday best holding it together make up on, sitting pretty like we have it all together when really when life isn’t working we should be on our knees at the altar with our sisters around us, praying and saying it’s ok honey you are enough and we love you.
When did keeping it real leave the church and our lives? When did the act of being all together all of the time become the norm? It’s when the world media began to leak perfection into every single crack in every single household and life so hard and fast its when we got trapped into the world of the highlight reel that is social media. Think Kim Kardashian, celeb mums with perfectly flat tummies and pictures of them and their perfectly groomed kids eating at a restaurant fit for a King that you know you could never in a million years manage because your kids are like monsters in a controlled dining environment!
It’s the time I had my second child and failure hit me like a ten tonne block of concrete that I decided I had to pretend to be ok that’s when it happened for me. From that it escalated to every portal of my life, perfect mothering, perfect housekeeper, perfect wife, perfect working mother, perfect everything! Arghhhh just writing this is making me cringe!
Think about when it happened for you because I know we are all trying to hold it together rather than keeping it real! Be honest, be honest with yourself and be honest with those around you, it’s ok to feel like a failure, it’s ok to feel hurt, it’s ok to envy those around us, it’s not ok to not deal with it, to pretend it’s ok and to let it build into a mountain that you can’t conquer. It’s ok to share it, to cry about and it’s ok to keep it real and be true to yourself.
If one of your sisters lets her guard down at the altar on a Sunday, don’t judge and wonder what’s wrong, get up, hug her, pray for her, tell her you love her and that she’s enough. This perfection state can not carry on, we all need to be real X
MASSIVE, MASSIVE love to you all,